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Some fiancees think they might want to get married, but are not 100% certain, and need more time to get to know each other or to adjust to the new country. The fiancee may qualify for a visitor visa if the intention is not to get married in the USA (but to come and go and get married in another country, to return again on an immigrant visa). However, by applying for a K-1, the foreign fiancee may be much more open about their intentions since the purpose of the visa is to allow a foreign citizen to remain in the United States for 90 days to get married, with the idea of living and working legally after marriage. If the intent to marry is made clear enough, and something does happen that makes the couple decide not to marry, then the fiancee may leave the country without repercussions. However, in the case that the couple marry after entry on another type of temporary visa, there are some penalties under the law. In many cases the marriage will be upheld and immigrant status granted to the foreign spouse, but sometimes the foreign spouse risks being deported. Limitations have also been put into place to discourage marriage by visitors on other visas. For example, a K1 visa may not be issued to a recent student visitor (to discourage foreigners being students merely for the purpose of meeting US spouses). Though the K1 visa may take more time in planning, it minimizes risks that wedding plans will be scuttled at the last moment by a denial of admission.
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Chinese society is patriarchal. In a family with sons and daughters, the pecking order is as follows: Males in order of age descending, followed by females in order of age descending. So a 5-year-old son outranks his 35-year-old mother (and the father will let both the mother and son know this). Young women are at the bottom of the pecking order, and they will be made aware of it constantly. In recent years (one child policy) this has gotten even worse, and the phenomenon of spoiled rotten sons has a name: Little Emperors.
Her parents are unlikely to approve of her marrying an American. The "most-desired" marriage would be for her to marry a man 5-15 years older than her, Chinese, rich.
The economic opportunity of her becoming a U.S. citizen may make up for you not being rich, I don't know.
Always be polite. Do not address her parents or anyone a generation above by their first names like in the US, unless they explicitly invite you too (this is not likely to occur). Vice versa, your gf will probably be uncomfortable calling your parents by their first names.
Sex-wise, her and her family are also likely more conservative. Expect to always stay in separate rooms, or at least say you are, even when she is visiting you. You will not likely be invited on vacations etc. until you are formally engaged or married.
When visiting, always bring a gift for her family. Your girlfriend will probably do this too.
Try to learn a couple of phrases of Chinese, this will greatly impress the family. If you have difficulty with the tones, try to think of it more like singing than speaking.
As for your being a gui lo...this will really depend on her family. For example, my parents always said they wanted me to marry a Chinese guy, but they totally love my white bf
The one thing I would recommend for any non-Chinese person trying to win over a traditional Chinese mother/grandmother is that you be honest in your love and sincere in your promise to be a good spouse/partner. Can't just say it - you have to just do it. Repeatedly.
Be cognizant of language differences, compliment the food, eat until you're stuffed, and be patient. And good luck.
Some fiancees think they might want to get married, but are not 100% certain, and need more time to get to know each other or to adjust to the new country. The fiancee may qualify for a visitor visa if the intention is not to get married in the USA (but to come and go and get married in another country, to return again on an immigrant visa). However, by applying for a K-1, the foreign fiancee may be much more open about their intentions since the purpose of the visa is to allow a foreign citizen to remain in the United States for 90 days to get married, with the idea of living and working legally after marriage. If the intent to marry is made clear enough, and something does happen that makes the couple decide not to marry, then the fiancee may leave the country without repercussions. However, in the case that the couple marry after entry on another type of temporary visa, there are some penalties under the law. In many cases the marriage will be upheld and immigrant status granted to the foreign spouse, but sometimes the foreign spouse risks being deported. Limitations have also been put into place to discourage marriage by visitors on other visas. For example, a K1 visa may not be issued to a recent student visitor (to discourage foreigners being students merely for the purpose of meeting US spouses). Though the K1 visa may take more time in planning, it minimizes risks that wedding plans will be scuttled at the last moment by a denial of admission.
